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Two questions to ask your kids

Two questions to ask your kids

 If you’ve ever found yourself saying, “I wish I had a better relationship with my kids.” Try asking these two questions and see what happens.

It’s rare to meet someone who doesn’t want something in their relationship with their kids to change.

Think about it: in your relationship with your kids, isn’t there one thing you’d like to be different?

Maybe it’s healthier communication, doing more fun things together, or even talking more — it could be anything!

Unfortunately, we often get into a habit of trying to change our relationship with our kids without ever inviting them into that process.

It might seem obvious, but families often live in a constant state of tension because they want their relationship with their kids to be different, but don’t actually talk to their kids about it.

The Two Questions

The best way to move towards change within any relationship is to begin an ongoing dialog that you can revisit on a regular basis. And a really easy and effective way to do that with you kids is to ask two simple questions:

  1. What’s one thing about our relationship that you like?
  2. What’s one thing about our relationship that you don’t like?

Here’s the thing — if you ask the question, you have to be open to hearing the feedback.

A good phrase to remember here is: remain curious.

When your kids answer you specifically about something they don’t like, you have to remain open to hearing them. If you are defensive, they will feel like they’ve been trapped and will probably be less likely to open up and be honest with you about your relationship in the future.

(No one likes feeling trapped!)


Healthy relationships don’t happen on accident. They takes effort, vulnerability, and humility.

And a quick note: your kids are becoming like you. (Not like the things you say.)

So if you make effort, show vulnerability, and walk in humility – you’re not only loving them well, but you’re also teaching your kids how to do those same things.

Here’s to walking in humility and learning from our kids!